The city still looks the same, except for maybe a few new buildings and minor makeovers. And life is largely unchanged. I joined the Monday to Friday Zombie March and within a week found myself wishing 5/7 of my life away, longing for the weekend, for time to myself to do what I really want to be doing.
My carefree life-style in Thailand saw me with tousled, messy beach hair, wearing the same few simple dresses everyday, always in flip-flops and comfortable in a more curvier body but in Melbourne, I quickly found myself feeling self-conscious, as if what I look like actually matters more than who I am.
I felt a separateness as life continued to go on around me as it did when I was not physically here and the lack of community connection from big city living. I easily slipped into old roles, sub-consciously re-joining old, tired dramas. I quickly decided that I didn’t want to be here and started to countdown my return to Thailand until I realised what I was doing and reminded myself that this is not what my life is about.
The gift of returning is that I can see Melbourne and my life with new eyes. There is so much about being here and living in this city that I love and most of it is simple joys;
- I love waking up on a crisp, cool morning feeling all warm and cosy snuggled under my doona.
- I love, love, love the abundance of fantastic coffee in this city.
- I love my brisk walk to and from work, past the Melbourne Cricket Ground, my blood pumping and warming up my body in the cool of the morning and evening.
- I love the green grass and autumn browns of Yarra Park and Fitzroy Gardens.
- I love watching the full moon rise high above the city lights.
- I love taking off my high heel shoes at lunch time to feel the tickly grass on the soles of my feet. And if the sun is out, I love lying on the grass and feeling the sun on the exposed skin of my face, arms and legs.
- I love being able to spend time with friends and family, coffees, brunches, lunches and being part of birthday celebrations.
- I love being able to drink my favourite wines at exactly the right temperatures.
- I love to go to my favourite book shops and spend hours surrounded by words
- I love walking along the beach, rugged up against the cold, feeling the sand on my feet and dipping my toes in cool water.
- I love the golden glow as the sun dips down towards the horizon , lighting up the Melbourne skyline in gold, bronze and tangerine.