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Hello and welcome to my blog formerly called Gypsy-K. Please note that I am only updating this blog while I am walking from Rome to Jerusalem from September 2015. My online home and permanent blog is at www.kymwilson.com.au. You can also sign up for pilgrim postcards and newsletters here. Thank you for being here and supporting my journey. With love and courage, Kym xx

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Transition

There is immense sadness in leaving a place and people that one loves with all their heart without knowing when or if one will return. As I pack my belongings to return to Melbourne once more, my face contorts in pain, my heart is clutched by sorrow and tears stream down my cheeks. This is the transition process I go through each time I move on. I pack and cry, pack and cry as I detach my heart strings from a life I have loved and prepare to leave it all behind to step into the great unknown once more.

For me, this place is an imperfect paradise. I love its tropical seas, golden sandy beaches, hot and humid weather, stunning sunsets, flavoursome food and ripe juicy fruits. I love the ease of being here and how when I work, it doesn’t feel like work. I love how every day feels like Friday and I don’t long for the weekends. I love the diving and how easily diving can be part of my life here. But for everything I love here there is still something missing. Within me is a deep longing to fulfil a greater purpose I can’t yet clearly articulate. Here, this longing is stuck and the relationships and synchronicities to help excavate this purpose seem to be missing. And so to stay here, is to live in a paradise, unfulfilled.

My stubborn heart wants to stay here. It doesn’t want to move on or leave. But something greater than me gently pushes me on and speaks the silent truth only I can hear. And I cry. I cry tears from recognising this truth. I cry tears as I slowly and painfully untie the invisible strings that attach me to this place and time. I cry as I say what feels like final good-byes and the grief overtakes me. I cry tears into the ocean. I cry tears into my suitcase. I cry tears into my noodle soup. I cry tears onto the one I love.

For all the sadness I feel there is equal happiness and joy to be felt too. I find solace in my longing to know purpose. I find solace in my belief and trust that life always supports me. I find solace in the excitement of the unknown and the new canvas I am about to paint. Most of all I find solace in returning to friends and family whose unconditional love and support is the one constant in my life.

1 comment:

  1. You so do not want to be back in melbourne!!!! Stay where you are. It's where you are happy.

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