What did you let go of this year? Whom did you let go?
“Stop looking all over the place for "the answers" - whatever they are - and start looking for the questions - the inquiries which are most important in your life, and give them answers. You do not live each day to discover what it holds for you, but to create it.” Neale Donald Walsch
It’s hard to think of what you’ve let go of when you’ve basically travelled to Europe, India and Asia with 20 kilograms of luggage stuffed into a wheelie backpack for most of the year. This year, my life has been one of impermanence. I’ve let go of home. I’ve left behind friends and family in Australia. I’ve said goodbye to friends on the road as we’ve continued on different paths. I’ve let go of clothes. I’ve let go of needing more than a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my belly and enough money in my bank account. I’ve definitely let go of money. What do they say…”it’s better out than in” or wasn’t that meant to be about your bank account?
Perhaps the most significant thing that I’ve let go of and I’ve only just let go of, is the idea that I have to have my life all figured out and that I have to have it figured out before I can come back to Melbourne.
I left Melbourne and started travelling/living in Thailand 2 years and 8 months ago after I hit a career blank. For 7 years I worked in a rapidly expanding financial services company that I loved like a second family. I had earned and been given many opportunities, some serious responsibility, thrown in the deep end with tasks I often had no idea how to do, until the last opportunity put me in a direction that I didn’t want to go. I panicked and searched desperately for a new career path. I knew my strengths and they were even supported by Myers Briggs and a careers counsellor. But it didn’t feel right. I wanted space to breathe, to explore, to travel, to dive.
So I left Melbourne and discovered a different, addictive way of life. And I started to ask myself why I lived in Melbourne. I’d never consciously chosen to live there, it was where I was born. And I asked myself if I wanted to live there. Do I like the climate? Well summer if we have it can be great but winter is f-f-f-freezing cold for me! Do I like the lifestyle? Yes I did but now I’m relaxed I’m not so sure, I really love wearing flip flops all year round. Do I like the people? Well yes, most of the time. But the most important question I’ve been asking myself Mary Oliver style over and over again is “What do I plan to do with my one wild and precious life?”
I asked these questions and I have answers of sorts. They’re just not the black and white epiphany that I thought they would be. And that is what I’ve let go of, needing and expecting that epiphany to come.
|The Lovers at Sunset, Tangalla, Sri Lanka, September 2011|
|Udawalawe National Park, Sri Lanka, September 2011|
|Lone walk, Tangalla Beach, Sri Lanka, September 2011|