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Hello and welcome to my blog formerly called Gypsy-K. Please note that I am only updating this blog while I am walking from Rome to Jerusalem from September 2015. My online home and permanent blog is at www.kymwilson.com.au. You can also sign up for pilgrim postcards and newsletters here. Thank you for being here and supporting my journey. With love and courage, Kym xx

Monday, 27 May 2013

The peace within waiting: an unexpected delay


Things don’t always turn out as you plan, especially when travelling.  Yesterday morning, I expected that I would be sleeping in my own bed in Melbourne right now. Instead, I find myself at the very pretty Nilai Springs Golf and Country Club, 50 kilometres south of Kuala Lumpur, sitting in the large open lounge and bar area that I have almost to myself, listening to the sound of water cascade down the feature wall behind me and around the stage area to my left  The country club is set on many acres of land. It is green and open and far from the city.

I was not happy about being here at first. No. I was upset that I had missed my connecting flight and have to wait 33 hours to get on the next available flight. My flight from Phuket to Kuala Lumpur was delayed by 2.5 hours.  We landed 25 minutes before my flight to Melbourne was due to depart. We weren't given any instructions but instinctively I walked as fast as I could to the terminal building.  When I was almost there an airline staff approached and asked if I was going to Melbourne and told me to run. So I ran. Inside the terminal building someone else told me to go upstairs which took me out through immigration and into Malaysia.  So I did, confused about why I had to go out instead of through the transfer area which I knew was quicker. I asked more staff. Yes I had to go out then in again. They told me to run. I kept running. But it felt odd so I asked one more ground staff before I went back through immigration and that is when I found out that I had missed my plane.

I burst into tears at the service counter and could barely speak.  Then I became angry that the airline had not managed the situation well. If they had been more organized, they could have made sure we were on that flight as we had landed 25 minutes before the next flight took off.  The shock soon passed and now I am here in this oasis, I am grateful, to have this quiet time to rest and reflect before I return to my city life.

Through travelling, I have discovered peace within the waiting. I have spent a lot of time waiting to board planes and buses and trains then waiting to arrive at my destination. I cannot bend time. Impatience, wanting to be somewhere I am not, being angry or annoyed over delays and cancellations I cannot change only makes the whole experience unenjoyable and the time seem to pass even more slowly. Sitting in cramped in often hot and uncomfortable conditions is not pleasant but it is part of travelling, a part of the adventure. It enhances the anticipation of arriving and experiencing something new. Waiting is something I make the most of. I take the window seat and watch. I rarely sleep except sometimes during night travel. I don’t want to miss that moment that could take my breath away. Those moments are food for my soul.

As I wait now, my mind wanders to Melbourne.  My spirit cries. There is a deep inner sorrow in returning. I am the bird voluntarily returning to the cage.  The sorrow is subdued by the warmth of love for my friends and family who I will see again soon. Feeling myself being back in Melbourne feels like a contraction, cold and sombre, as it has every time I have returned since I first left. I enjoy many things there and live a good life. It’s just that I don’t feel my spirit soar when I am there. I am not the city chick I once knew myself to be. I wonder if humans were really meant for a city life or if it’s just the life we know; how modern life and society has evolved. Is it really our true nature to live amidst so much artificiality, so separate from nature?

I am blessed with choice and full of questions. Where do I want to be? Where is the next stepping-stone in my life’s journey? I’m not yet sure but wherever it is I expect it will have open space, lots of green and a warm sea. It will be somewhere my spirit feels free.
 
Sunset at Nilai Springs Golf and Country Club, Malaysia

Saturday, 25 May 2013

Leaving again


The currents of my life are taking me back to Melbourne as I knew they would.  The tide that brought me here had to ebb and recede.

The ocean is not a static pool.  Its currents flow far and wide and the tide will turn again.
Soon.

The question is, when the tide turns, will I fight it and try to stay afloat exactly where I am or surrender and let it take me to where it wants me to be?

For now, I carry back with me all that I experienced and re-experienced here;
Peace.  Love.  Wonder.
The fire of creativity and adventure.
Excitement.
A longing to surrender.
An overwhelming urge to de-clutter and simplify my life.
And gratitude, so much gratitude for this island and the sea that has once again reminded me who of who I really am and that changes me with one breath and one embrace, every time I’m here.

Flying from Kuala Lumpur to Bal

Sunrise in Komodo National Park



Thursday, 23 May 2013

The ride


Wind
rushes my face.
Its warm fingers
twist and tangle
my streaming hair,
powders my skin, bronze
with a delicate dust,
and carries scents unseen;
cut grass drying,
the woody musk of chag nampa,
sweet frangipani,
the freshness of bypassing rain
and the salt of a calm sea.
At night it strokes
my uncovered eyes
provoking
tears that cleanse,
and pool pure joy.

As I move
from where I’ve been
to where I am going
there is no barrier,
no separation,
no protective lens
through which to see this world.
The white moths flutter around me.
Hidden birds sing directly to my ear.
The clouds expand and drift above me.
The jungle sways beside me.
The sea rushes in before me.
The chores of human life continue
as I leave them behind.

I know in some ways
this is reckless.
There are safer ways
to move throughout this life
but I won’t spend my days
wrapped in cotton wool,
afraid of dying.
Death will come anyway, one day,
and when it does,
I want to stand tall and proud and say;
I made friends with fear and left him behind.
I loved every moment of this world
even when my heart was breaking.
That I dared to truly live.

Me jumping off Black Manta...I'm scared off heights but I did it anyway.  Photo courtesy of David Mancini.

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Neutral Buoyancy


Release the air
that holds you on the surface of your life.
Exhale the breath
you hold tight and shallow in your lungs.
Sink below
the shimmering surface.
Let her swallow you whole,
wrap her deep blue silkiness
around your tired earth body.

Fall down, down, down,
until you are in the garden of wonder.
Buoy yourself with air
from the tank strapped on your back.
Inhale slow, calm, deep,
feel your lungs expand,
your body rise.
Exhale,
feel your lungs contract
and your body sink down.

Here, is the perfect point of balance.
You are no longer heavy
or anchored
or bound by duty.
Here, in this endless plane of blue,
you are weightless.
You are in your body
but you are not your body.
The sea carries for you
your endless burden
leaving you to be all that you really are,
the essence into which you breathe.

Down here, neutral buoyancy sets you free
and you know your true self,
this radiant but invisible light,
that you so often hide.

Honor each breath
that supports your life
and sustains this embrace.
Move without moving.
Just rise and fall as you breathe.
Hover static,
or fly with the currents
as graceful as the Rays that live here.

It doesn't matter what you do.
You are always supported and free to choose.

Long have I searched
for this balance in my terrestrial life;
the slot in which I fit and feel free.
Searching, as if for a new land
to discover and claim as my home.

When your air runs low and you slowly rise
up, up, up,
until you break the surface
and climb out of her embrace
to reclaim the constant thoughts of your human life,
know that you carry within you,
that which you seek,
and that you can find it, anytime,
with just a single breath.